Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
