I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
