God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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