After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
