Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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