It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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