i just google imaged poop.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
