You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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