Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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