you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize