what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
