When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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