Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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