and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's blow job season.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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