I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
