I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize