Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
