those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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