No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
