If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize