theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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