i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
