Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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