That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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