Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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