Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
