I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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