I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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