I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
