Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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