She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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