And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
