he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
