i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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