i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
