You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
