btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
