Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
