am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
