I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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