dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
