So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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