My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
