she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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