I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
