I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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