I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize