If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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