so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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