there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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