i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
