at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
