My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Pooping to opera.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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