Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
