my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize