I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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