just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
