Rock
Scissors
Fuck
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
