The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
