Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
