Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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